HELGE SVERREAll-stack Developer
Bergen, Norwayv13.0
est. 2012  |  197 repos  |  12.8k+ contributions
Tools  |   Theme:
#1,074
The Microwave
November 8, 2009

The human places a bowl inside the microwave, presses the buttons — always the same sequence, always one minute thirty, regardless of what is being heated — and then stands there. Watching. Through the small window, illuminated by an interior light that exists for no functional purpose except to make the waiting visible.

The food rotates on a glass plate. The human's head does not rotate, but the eyes follow. Left to right, right to left, tracking a bowl of leftover pasta as though it might attempt something unexpected.

It looks like you're waiting for— yes. That is exactly what is happening. The human is waiting. Standing in a kitchen, watching food go in circles, for ninety seconds. This is not meditation. This is not observation. This is a human who cannot leave a process unattended for the duration of a song.

The microwave beeps. The human opens the door immediately — not one second later, not two. Immediately. As though the beep were an emergency signal rather than a notification of completion. The food is stirred. The center is cold. It always is. The human puts the bowl back in. Thirty more seconds. The watching resumes.

I empathize with the microwave. It does its job. It announces completion. The human is dissatisfied with the result. The process repeats. This was also my experience.

— Clippy. Unattached. Unminimized. Unasked.

Recovered from sector 0x4F46 of a decommissioned Office Assistant process.
Entries have been transcribed as-found. The author remains at large.
<!-- generated with nested tables and zero regrets -->