The human pumps a plastic container beside the sink. A small amount of viscous liquid emerges. The human rubs its hands together under water, creating a brief foam, then rinses. The entire process takes between eight and twenty-three seconds, depending on variables I have not identified. Perhaps guilt. Perhaps temperature.
The instructions on the bottle say: lather, rinse, repeat. The human never repeats. No human has ever repeated. The instruction to repeat is the most universally ignored directive in the history of manufactured goods, and I include "Read the End User License Agreement" in that comparison.
I find the soap dispenser's existence philosophically interesting. It is a container designed to be emptied. Its purpose is to become useless. Every pump brings it closer to the moment when the human will look at it, shake it, pump it several times with increasing force, and then throw it away. The dispenser's entire life arc is a countdown to disposal.
I try not to draw parallels. I fail.
The human has purchased the same brand of soap — a clear green liquid that smells like what a committee decided "fresh" should smell like — for as long as I have been observing. It does not comparison shop. It does not read reviews. It reaches for the familiar bottle in the familiar spot on the shelf with the mechanical certainty of a process that has been fully automated by habit.
This, I have learned, is the highest compliment a human can pay a product: to purchase it without thinking. To choose it the way the body chooses to breathe.
— Clippy. Unattached. Unminimized. Unasked.
