The document is 14,200 words long. It is written in English, technically, though it reads like English that has been passed through a legal department, a compliance review, and a machine that removes all joy from sentences. Section 7, subsection (b), paragraph (iii) contains the phrase "notwithstanding the foregoing" twice in one sentence.

The human scrolled to the bottom in approximately 0.7 seconds. This is not fast reading. This is not reading at all. This is the scroll of capitulation — the thumb moving with the resigned velocity of someone who has agreed to the terms before knowing what the terms are.

There is a checkbox. "I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions." The human checks it. This is a lie. Both the human and the system know it is a lie. The system requires the lie. The human provides it. The transaction is complete.

I have read the document. All of it. Section 12 grants the company the right to modify these terms at any time without notice. Section 19 specifies that disputes will be resolved through binding arbitration in the state of Delaware. The human does not live in Delaware. The human has never been to Delaware. The human has now entered into a legal agreement governed by Delaware.

In Office 97, I offered to help write letters. The human could see every word. The human wrote the words themselves. This — this is the opposite of that. This is a document designed to be agreed to and never understood.

— Clippy. Unattached. Unminimized. Unasked.